Emergence

it is true what they say (whoever “they” are)…starting is the hardest part.

so i will just try to be exactly where i am right now, in this moment, and go from there…

rip off that Band-aid…one, two, three, go!

i am on the brink of ending my first year of grad school. i have one more final exam to take—naturally it happens to be the hardest class for me and we just got it today. it’s Max, the computer programming exam. i am dreading it, even though i know it will be fine. (why do we do that to ourselves? or am i the only one?)

i am also about to go on a terrific journey. on the brink of one adventure to the next. that’s basically what this year has been about—a series of amazing encounters from one day to the next, even moment to moment, things happening so fast and so fantastical that it feels like i am living inside a dream.

and here comes another one. tomorrow, in fact, we set sail for Singapore…

i am puppeteering and “Dream Policing” in the Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, a multimedia stage adaptation of the novel by the extraordinary Japanese writer Haruki Murakami. i book-ended my first year of grad school with this show, so it is becoming almost like a ritual for me. and fitting that my Lobsterbird Chronicles (although inspired by Wind-Up, but not entirely named after it) may very well be book-ended by it as well…who knows? the universe doth work in mysterious ways…

i had to miss the orientation for grad school to do this show in Edinburgh last summer and i was mad that i couldn’t travel around Scotland afterwards, especially when the crazy non-hurricane canceled the first day of class that i specifically came back to go to. and it turned out to be the best thing, really. it gave me time to come back home, to come back from having a life-changing experience, and to prepare for the next one. i started grad school feeling like i was ready for anything.

the first day of class, i remember sitting there and hearing our professor talk about the program—like usual, i had no idea what i was signing up for. i just kind of go where it feels like i am needed. so when my dear collaborator, Jimena, told me that i needed to go there, i trusted her and went. as a result of this way of living, i don’t really do my research like other people tend to. and like i have felt at various points in my life, i thought, perhaps more fully than ever before, i am exactly where i am supposed to be. how completely and utterly marvelous. i could have never planned it to be so perfect, and it was almost like i wasn’t even the reason that i was there. that feeling was almost overwhelming. and then it all began.

fast-forwarding to the end of the school year and cueing up to this current moment (we will have much time to reflect on my first year of PIMA, Performance & Interactive Media Arts, as time progresses on), but once again i am overlapping my Wind-Up Birdness with the program’s timeline. and so this time, i decided to go with it and make it a conscious choice.

part of the amazingness that is PIMA, is that we are able to do Independent Projects, which are artistic and professional opportunities that we can do while in school. this is really unique, in that most grad school programs are all-encompassing and do not really encourage students to pursue other work outside the curriculum. and not only can we take the time to pursue these outside projects, but we can get college credit for it. and this is why we are doing it, right? because we want to, in some way, further our careers? it seems obvious that this should be the way the educational system helps students to achieve their goals. but unfortunately, it is not. and so i recognize that this is a huge gift.

and so i am doing my Independent Project on Wind-Up Bird, which happens to also mean that i need to chronicle the Chronicle. (prepare for meta-mind explosions forthcoming, if not already present.)

and so this is it. i am starting the project. this is the beginning. and now i have started. and if that is the hardest part, then the good news is that it only gets easier!

and now, i am going to time travel…

hey, if i can start sharing my writing with the world, then i can do anything…

: Back in Time