In the end,
i believe it was god.
i knew it was you—
the same tricks and traps
imagery out the wazoo.
Upon second thought,
that was my mind
instead of reading mindfully
In the beginning,
there was never
This morning, at 8:02AM, Jan woke up and decided she didn’t want to live anymore.
She looked around her childhood room, although different than it was growing up, still simmered in the memories of her jaded past. The Crayola green and blue and white polka-dotted hippie wallpaper that once lined her walls was now replaced by a drab white-ish paint that didn’t really conceal the little ticks and bumps in the wall. On top of that were posters and paintings of foreign countries Jan had visited (and some that she hadn’t but her mom thought she might like anyway). There were too many plants, as if her mother not-so-secretly would rather have her room be a greenhouse rather than house the being who actually grew up there. The furniture was all brown, some of it interesting like the Chinese cabinet with the fish lock or the writing desk that looked like it was from the early 1900s. Some of it was the least interesting furniture there could be. All of it brown, yet none of it matched.
Today’s Prompt: Write about the three most important songs in your life — what do they mean to you?
Three important songs…Mozart? Gerald’s music? definitely something by David Bowie hmmmmmmm…it’s hard to think and write at the same time…Queen, definitely Queen’s “I Want to Break Free.” I still imagine making a Darth and Lobster video with Davi…it makes me think of collaboration and letting loose only to find a real sense of support in the uncertainty, the not knowing.
Today’s Prompt: If you could zoom through space in the speed of light, what place would you go to right now?
When I was little and people asked the classic question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” my answer was, “A veterinarian or marine biologist. Or an astronaut.”
For a long time I couldn’t figure out what the connection was there. Now I see that I wanted to be transported to magical worlds that actually exist.
Imagine: Getting in a submarine like “The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou” delving down past the point where sunlight can no longer touch and twist form into shape. Down here bioluminescence lights the way—strange alien-esque creatures waving their tendrils in a happy dance of connectivity, moving with the flow of life that has not been put under the demands of the grid. The only structure down here past the flecks of floating sunshine are the laws of nature, the jaws sharp as razors whose only job is to consume and keep swimming whatever the cost.
exercise: Today, take twenty minutes to free write. And don’t think about what you’ll write. Just write.
note: i write with a pen and paper and then transcribe. i tried to stay as true as possible to the handwritten “formatting.”
here i go freewriting, freefalling onto the page—it’s that before before opening the net and knowing that the ‘chute will guide you safely to the ground. my mind thinks faster than my hand moves ~there~ i’m already onto the next thing when all i want to do is be right here.