Every life and every death begins the same way, with an exhale. We come into the world with a cry and go out with a sigh, each of these expressions floating on the out-breath.

Buddha’s disciple, Maudgalyayana, taught his own student an important lesson by showing him a huge pile of bones. When the student asked, “What is that?” Maudgalyayana replied, “These are all the bones from the bodies you had in previous lives.” 

The bones are always the first to go; it is how the earth element in our body dissolves. Water goes next, followed by the element of fire. Then our wind blows out. After the air element leaves us, the only thing that is left is our consciousness and finally that exits the body, too.

CLICK TO READ THE FULL ARTICLE

the event of a thread — Day 4

today marked my first Saturday shift at the event of a thread. welcome to wild weekends at the Armory!

up until this point, i have been so appreciative of the way that people have interacted with this exhibit. i was stunned by the environment that Ann had created. somehow, through her care, meticulousness, and attention to detail, i felt that she had succeeded in creating a space where there were very little rules enforced and yet the audience was so respectful of it. even when the audience was high energy, no one was climbing all over the exhibit, poking at the pigeons, or particularly active in our personal areas. at least, i hadn’t experienced this, until today.

CLICK TO READ THE FULL ARTICLE

:: Fear Continues to Rage On ::

so i did it again. i freaked out because i am afraid of things that aren’t going to hurt me.

last night, i resolved to shower in the outside shower. our inside one is right next to my parents’ room and my mom goes to bed early. so it was a practical decision, but i also decided to overcome the fear of our backyard at night, which has plagued me for as long as i can remember.

i mean, it’s fenced in for chrissakes, and i have a new philoSophie about co-existence with bugs. so i am going to shower out there dammit. this is what i thought, and anyway, the air con inside was making me feel cold and artificial. i am not going to become disembodied by my own fear.

CLICK TO READ THE FULL ARTICLE

On Fear:

(or rather, Off Fear)

usually when i need to use the bathroom that is located 10 meters from my sleeping quarters, i hear that crazy frog and i imagine that someone is going to leap out from behind the glowing purple Buddha and kill me. i start to panic. sometimes in situations like this, i will go so far as to start running (or walking fast to appear as if i am not running. when really, i am).

tonight after i brushed my teeth and washed my face, i entered the open area between the bathroom and the boudoir. i took a deep breath and said to my self, what do you have to be afraid of? look at all this! as i opened my arms and raised my face to the night sky, the cosmos came rushing down to meet me. look at all these stars! clear as if i were in the sky itself! and i kind of am in the sky! i am on the top of a freaking mountain! and the moon…like something out of a painting! and i swear i can see trails of stardust!!!

CLICK TO READ THE FULL ARTICLE

i went surfiiiiiiiiing!

it was pretty rough and i caught a big wave and rode it all the way in! (on my knees, but hey, cut an old-timer a break.) and i was able to paddle out easy and hang out with all the Japanese guys of the sea…(yes, Toshi, tell them i am “di jo boo!”) wait, why was everyone there Japanese???

and most importantly, i overcame that initial moment of fear before running into the ocean to reclaim my love affair with its momentum…

i also realized that i don’t have to be super awesome at everything right away. i did a lot today and i quit before i exhausted myself.

CLICK TO READ THE FULL ARTICLE