(or rather, Off Fear)
usually when i need to use the bathroom that is located 10 meters from my sleeping quarters, i hear that crazy frog and i imagine that someone is going to leap out from behind the glowing purple Buddha and kill me. i start to panic. sometimes in situations like this, i will go so far as to start running (or walking fast to appear as if i am not running. when really, i am).
tonight after i brushed my teeth and washed my face, i entered the open area between the bathroom and the boudoir. i took a deep breath and said to my self, what do you have to be afraid of? look at all this! as i opened my arms and raised my face to the night sky, the cosmos came rushing down to meet me. look at all these stars! clear as if i were in the sky itself! and i kind of am in the sky! i am on the top of a freaking mountain! and the moon…like something out of a painting! and i swear i can see trails of stardust!!!
in this moment, i took a breath of mountain air in and i laughed. i am in heaven. there is nothing to be afraid of here.
(i, calmly, and with a smile on my face, walked to my room. my first thought was to share this experience with you.)
later i was to find out that this magical evening was the night of the Partial Lunar Eclipse:
“Gemini, the sign of the Twins, exemplifies how the Mind perceives the world as a play of opposites: light and dark, man and woman, left and right, good and bad, spirit and matter, life and death, yin and yang. Tao says that these opposites contain a spark of each other. What appears to be separate is really related. The best way to understand an opposition is to see that each side complements and balances the other side to create a greater whole.
The full Moon is an opposition between the Sun and the Moon, a moment in their cosmic circle dance when they face each other fully. It’s interesting that we read the result of that dance on the face of the feminine Moon rather than the masculine Sun. The Moon records what the Sun’s been up to. The Moon releases what”s unconscious in the psyche. The Moon draws our eyes and opens our imaginations to what could be. Thanks to the life-giving light of the Sun.
Monday’s Sagittarius full Moon is a partial lunar eclipse, with the Earth lining up between the Sun and the Moon so that the Earth block’s the Sun’s light from fully reaching the Moon. Since planets do have energetic connections, during a lunar eclipse the Earth cuts the energy between Sun and Moon, dissolving the energetic structures on Earth and within us. Lunar eclipses open a portal through which we can release old complexes, habits, ideas, beliefs and wounds that no longer serve our life. When the Earth moves out of orbit between them, new energetic lines snap into place. We can change what those connections are by how we change our own energies.
This is a great time to do ritual. Since for many of us the eclipse occurs during the early morning hours, you can do a ritual Sunday evening and create a psychic container to hold what needs releasing until the eclipse happens. If you ritualize this release, make sure you send what you’re releasing out to Pluto to regenerate, or down into the Earth to compost, or to the Sun to burn.
For this Gemini/Sagittarius full Moon eclipse, release old categories of perception, old prejudices and old dogmas. While the light of ego-consciousness is blocked during the eclipse, you might remember some beautiful dream or fantasy you loved as a kid, some belief in the grace and goodness of Spirit that you haven’t felt for a while. Why not take that image out of the closet and dust it off? Maybe it’s something you really wanted to believe in, but were told you couldn’t. Who says? Or perhaps you just lost faith. Why?
Who gets to say what’s real? Science is still debating that question so for now, open your mind and look at the unseen real aspects of life. Who says we’re not connected, or that we can’t do magic, or that we can’t trust Love? Who really believes that we are sinners if we don’t believe in the “correct” version of God? The Spirit of Life created us, so It probably wants us to find as many ways back to It as there are life-forms. The best way to worship Spirit is to live fully and creatively, kindly and compassionately, freely and openly.
The tension of opposites in Gemini/Sagittarius is one between reason and faith, intellect and intuition, the lower Mind and the Higher Mind. Gemini wants to articulate exactly what makes one thing different or similar to another. Gemini is the master communicator who can use language to open up people’s minds and hearts. Sagittarius is the ultimate believer, knowing right from wrong and piercing through to the truth of the matter, a trait which Gemini isn’t interested in. Gemini likes the play of the Mind while Sagittarius wants to focus the Mind on the goal.
This lunar eclipse offer us a great opportunity to see what strange and distorted beliefs we’ve ingested from patriarchy that are strangling our lives. Sagittarius is the container for our belief systems. Everybody has to believe something about life, religion or no religion. There are cosmic laws that give rise to life and that’s where our beliefs can take root and give us strength. Whether we see those laws operating as a Goddess or as a God, as mathematical laws or magical correspondences, we need to believe that we are part of the whole, that we hold meaning. Sagittarius anchors us to our beliefs so we don’t get lost in the inundation of information that Gemini can spew out. Sag points to information that is useful to us.
If we can unite the energies so they work together, we can engage in the deepest form of understanding and communication — articulating what is rather than what I think it is. Once we get rid of old ways of understanding our world, our categories, we can once again be open to the life around us in new and intriguing ways. We might listen to our intuition which tells us that perhaps we should tie our laces before walking downstairs in the dark — instead of disregarding it and taking a tumble. Or take the opportunity to speak with the stranger on the street rather than turn fearfully away.
Change your Beliefs and Open your Mind!”
well, i have never taken too much stock in astrology, but i did sense some special energy that night—enough to take a photograph and to let go of my irrational fears that i have carried with me through most of my life. so none of this seems completely crazy when i really think about it. (and less so when i contemplate the next few posts that i had written by hand and not yet transcribed.)
later i was to also find out that it was also the beginning of a Partial Internet Eclipse, making it a long and hysterical cosmic joke that i would not have access to the internet (or rather, a connection that would allow me to access WordPress) for the rest of my time in Bali. after that night, i decided to accept that the Universe is magical and i made a conscious choice to submit my self to that magic. and although i couldn’t reach out to people via cyberspace, by accepting the literal and cosmic space, i left Bali feeling connected to others in a whole new way…