: photo by The Night Bears

: photo by The Night Bears

The wind is blowing so hard it feels like I can’t hold on much longer. Even if I do, I can’t be convinced that the tree won’t get blown away itself. My little claws are grasping onto a thin branch as I look down to the depths of where I could fall. In this moment I wonder if it’s worth holding on or if I should just let go…

I’m supposed to be able to fly anyway. But somehow that doesn’t give me the confidence time after time to take the plunge. I remember on one of my trips out East, a Taoist person was spreading virtues of “not doing.” I have to wonder how I can possibly “not do.” If I don’t let go, am I not holding onto things I should let go of? If I let go into a situation that feels dangerous, am I doing what I always do—plunging into risk? The fundamental nature of “not doing” is, in itself, doing something!

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Dear You,

I am writing this letter because it felt strange to leave without saying goodbye. I want you to know that it is not because of anything you did or did not do, but simply because it is time to move on.

I will always carry a part of you with me wherever I go. I have only the greatest respect for you and I have been forever changed by knowing you.

I hope that you will not be angry with me, although I accept that you will need to deal with this in your own way. You may not even notice that I am gone. I still can’t help but hope that you are sending me off with a happy heart and wishes for safe travels.

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The Event of a Thread — Day 6

“It is hard to be brave,” said Piglet, sniffing slightly, “when you’re only a Very Small Animal.”

Rabbit, who had begun to write very busily, looked up and said:

“It is because you are a very small animal that you will be Useful in the adventure before us.”

~ Benjamin Hoff, The Te of Piglet ~

today’s Event of a Thread was Epic. i was there from 9am-5pm. i showed up for a full “work day,” but it was perceived as an eternity. it amazes me how vast time is and how quickly things can change; it is very easily possible to lose track of one’s self and of the little things in life when we succumb to the chaos that surrounds us.

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 The Event of a Thread – Day 5

as artists, and as human beings, what kind of space do we create?

Space for the Voice

“It’s an empty city block…And wanting to make the place that everyone can be in and join the work in some way. And thinking about: What are those experiences that allow us to fall open to something? What allows us to become receptive? To pay attention? And all of the modes of attention that we can form…The responsibility of thinking about the nature of public gatherings and what are the opportunities to gather in public? How do we retain a sense of our individual presence and yet join to something larger?”

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the event of a thread — Day 4

today marked my first Saturday shift at the event of a thread. welcome to wild weekends at the Armory!

up until this point, i have been so appreciative of the way that people have interacted with this exhibit. i was stunned by the environment that Ann had created. somehow, through her care, meticulousness, and attention to detail, i felt that she had succeeded in creating a space where there were very little rules enforced and yet the audience was so respectful of it. even when the audience was high energy, no one was climbing all over the exhibit, poking at the pigeons, or particularly active in our personal areas. at least, i hadn’t experienced this, until today.

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the event of a thread – Day 3

pre-shift:

i am running not quite as early as i want again today. but at least i did a pretty thorough vocal warm-up beforehand. maybe it is something about the Robot Immigrants coming to the Armory today and meeting with them after, but my warm-up was similar to the ones we do in our process. usually i do yoga because my body tweaks out a little sitting on that stool in one position for so long, but yoga hasn’t quite been solving that in its entirety. although i am building my core back up so that i can sustain the position (and minimize the pain and damage to my body), i realized from the last Event that i needed to work out my articulators a little more to maintain the extended verbal space that i am filling. so my warm-up today actually became a combination of both physical stretching and releasing, and voice warming and exercising.

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:: Manifesting My Passions ::

on November 21st, i had a rehearsal in my apartment with Sameer Parekh of Falkor Systems and his flying robot, Ary. while getting reading for them to arrive, i found this:

TED Invitation

three years ago i put this post-it note on my desk. on that day, i realized why we have dreams.

Sameer invited me to come and be a part of his TED talk! okay, so it’s TEDxSiliconAlley, but it is a step in the direction of so many dreams—speaking at TED, dancing with robots, you know, the usual. no small order, but it helps to reaffirm my deep belief that we can all dream big and make those dreams our reality.

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on Beginning Again with Nothing to Prove. Grad School, Year Two.

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on Loss, Death, and what's on the Other Side.

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:: it’s been a long time! ::

fitting, somehow, that my last blog post was a repost. i remember actually writing one sometime after and we shall see if i can ever time travel back and squeeze it in.

but maybe it’s happily lost and i don’t need to…

needs. i have been thinking about needs a lot over the past year or so. what do i actually need in any given moment? how does that change in the next one? and how is what i need different from what i want?

one of my very first theater collaborators, Davi Cohen, introduced me to this way of approaching my life and artmaking process. Davi and i became collaborators with a desire to make work together, so we started training in the shared language of Suzuki and Viewpoints. as we evolved, we danced together, made work in unconventional ways, traveled across the country, presented in our home city, went on residency, made movies, ate food together, shared our personal triumphs and challenges, and broached the question:

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