:: 6.5.12 or 5.6.12, Depending on Where You Are ::

  • Another Sweet Sleep
  • Get Out my Trekking Pants
  • A Half-Hour of Yoga that Turns into a Full One
  • A Fully Delicious Breakfast – Literally Breaking the Fast
    • Scrambled Eggs, Marinated Tomatoes, Veggies, Toast, Best Fruit Salad that i have Ever had in my Entire Life
    Selk and Ajay are Joining! G’Day, Gede! (Our Happy Guide) Mount Batukaru Temple Stories of Siwo Nyoman (forgive me gods for the possible misspelling, as Gede mentioned these are mostly legends passed down through oral tradition). Siwo Nyoman is the Bear Man God who Lives on the Mountain and Appears to Scare those who do Bad Things. (We Make Offerings.) Nature Protects Itself Thinking for the Future Gede: “Bali people are always planning everything carefully.” Planning for Goodness. Tasting the Fruits of the Jungle The Day of Venus Passing over the Sun – Male and Female Energy in Union, Selk and Ajay’s Anniversary – an Auspicious Day! A Musical Mountain Rice Paddy Parade Over Stones Through Village Old Village Woman asks Gede if I am a Boy or a Girl. Oddly, this Brings me Great Happiness. The Duality in me in Apparent. Hot Stone Massage Surprise Traditional Dance Performance from Local Balinese Girls Gede and I Sit Out Back Smoking Cigarettes and Sharing Stories – he Learns of the Lobsterbird, I Hear of the Balinese Songbird who visits his Home – the Betjitja CLICK TO READ THE FULL ARTICLE

On Fear:

(or rather, Off Fear)

usually when i need to use the bathroom that is located 10 meters from my sleeping quarters, i hear that crazy frog and i imagine that someone is going to leap out from behind the glowing purple Buddha and kill me. i start to panic. sometimes in situations like this, i will go so far as to start running (or walking fast to appear as if i am not running. when really, i am).

tonight after i brushed my teeth and washed my face, i entered the open area between the bathroom and the boudoir. i took a deep breath and said to my self, what do you have to be afraid of? look at all this! as i opened my arms and raised my face to the night sky, the cosmos came rushing down to meet me. look at all these stars! clear as if i were in the sky itself! and i kind of am in the sky! i am on the top of a freaking mountain! and the moon…like something out of a painting! and i swear i can see trails of stardust!!!


i just met Richard, who owns the Bali Mountain Retreat. he moved from Holland to Australia at a young age. he said that he doesn’t necessarily affiliate with the latter country because of its politics and because it never felt like home. i guess no matter how long one lives in a place, sometimes it just never becomes home. and then there are other places that become home in an instant. Richard has been in Bali for the past 8 years, and he basically started the life that i have been dreaming of since starting this leg of the trip.


driving through the city of Tabanan, i closed the window. there is not good air here. it feels different on my face. this Lobsterbird is becoming so sensitive to these subtle shifts.

< ooh, i meant to put on my Salonpas (which is becoming a sort of travel ritual), and forgot in the hubbub of leaving the Villa. but i just saw a sign (a literal sign in front of a shop) that i should still do it now. >

ahhhhhh, sweet menthol relief.

thank the gods for signs or how else would we be able to navigate through life?


as i was buying little tortes in anticipation of the Girls returning from their epic trekking day and in celebration of the birth of Bora and Karen, i saw this!

and at a place called “Casa” to boot!

while we were in Canggu, we ate dinner at the oddly fascinating “Deus Ex Machina”—part bar/restaurant, part art gallery, part surfboard and bike shop replete with pool tables and an outdoor couch area for lounging. when we went, it was Taco and Tattoo Tuesday (they were giving out free tattoos to the right of the bar). at dinner, Stephen brought up the Hummingbird—an animal that has appeared consistently throughout the course of my life (my grandmother had a strong affinity for the little guys and thus my mother adopted a passion for them as well). i have even been accused of being a Hummingbird because the nature and use of my energy in my little body can be a furious one.


: it is easy to feel close to the gods in a place like this.

: Temple by the Sea

: the Light shines bright

: Shadows of our Selves appear before us

: as we look out over the Shores of Heaven


it has dawned on me in the most glorious moments of waking: i will get my own surfboard for the first time. i am learning to glide out on my own.

this is easy to understand when i have all time to contemplate its meaning.

i used to be so attached to time. being on time, not having enough time, having a good time. now i can just be time.

does that sound weird? the more that i believe that i have all the time in the universe to do what i need to do, the more i can let go of the insistence that any one thing has a particular time in which it needs to be done. the more i let go of the idea of a standardized time stamp on the nature of things, the more i allow each one to develop in exactly the time it needs.


::: i love my Singaporean friends :::

 it is my last night in Singapore. we met and talked about a lot of things that i really believe could and will happen: seeing Tim in another two years (my return to Singapore? or his turn to come to NYC???), getting a chance to create work or otherwise be in a show with Tim, Nelson, and Wan Ching, having a building where they can come stay and we can train and rehearse, and…i feel that these things can happen.

i call this “building my empire.”

: in Singapore, they shall build their own…


:: i found Nabilah. i found a cheap new suitcase. i finally found a laptop lock. and i found out that i already have everything i need. ::

Nabilah and i met at the awesome Kickstart Cafe. this is like the kind of cafe that i am always looking for anywhere in the world. we sat and talked for hours. here is a breakdown of what went down:

mostly, Nabilah and i shared our travels. there were so many moments of recognition and points of connection, but the main thing that i took from it is the shared notion of journeying.

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