5.13.12

:: archiving my writing from the past and posting from the future ::

what have i learned today?

 have i been on a journey yet?

am i more present when i am here writing or less?

when i am writing, i feel like i am able to perceive more and ask better questions.

this morning’s rehearsal was fascinating. i felt it necessary to be honest with my puppet team about my physical/emotional/psychosomatic state instead of pretending that i was okay. and so i laid on the floor and breathed. and i felt that i wasn’t ready. and i told them i needed time. and then i cried. i released into them, possibly frightening them. so they went and started working. and i let them. i released into them and then released them. and then i released into my self and into the Earth. i sat with my self and the tears flowed out and into my ears and out and down my cheeks, into my hair and onto the floor.

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it is true what they say (whoever “they” are)…starting is the hardest part.

so i will just try to be exactly where i am right now, in this moment, and go from there…

rip off that Band-aid…one, two, three, go!

i am on the brink of ending my first year of grad school. i have one more final exam to take—naturally it happens to be the hardest class for me and we just got it today. it’s Max, the computer programming exam. i am dreading it, even though i know it will be fine. (why do we do that to ourselves? or am i the only one?)

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